My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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