Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
love makes seman taste better
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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