My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Randomize
