I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
