Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's shark week go big or go home
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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