I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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