okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
