we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
