well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
