how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
