I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
