Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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