"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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