So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
