I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
