I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
