I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
