I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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