and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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