Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
