apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
