Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My balls are so social today.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
