I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
