im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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