Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
