doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
