i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
