dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
