therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
