I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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