We won't sleep together?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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