he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
