we're blogging at a bar
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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