remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
