Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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