I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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