btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
