Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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