A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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