for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
