There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
