I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
