Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
