True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
