It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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