Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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