I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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