it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
