Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
