Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
