so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
