somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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