He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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