youre lurking in front of me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
